Pronouns are important, so let’s talk about how to use them properly in all situations. Oh boy, is this a hot topic right now! As I have made it my mission to use language correctly and help other people do the same, I thought I would weigh in on the discussions around pronouns and what they actually mean. To be clear, myself and my work is 100% LGBTQIA+ friendly and no homophobia, transphobia or anything like it will be welcome here. This is a safe space for everyone, but let’s see if we can’t educate a bit as well. So let’s start with the basics.
What are pronouns?
Most people will be aware of what a noun is. A noun is a naming word, such as ‘toaster’ or ‘lollipop’ or ‘dog’. A proper noun is a name for a specific noun, such as ‘Steve’ or ‘Buckingham Palace’ or ‘Playstation’. It’s a word you use to identify a specific thing you want to talk about.
When you are talking about a specific thing in detail, it can be tiresome to repeatedly use the noun over and over again. Especially when you are talking about a person. That is where pronouns come in. Pronouns are words used in place of nouns when you don’t need to repeat what or who you are referring to. Read the definition in the Collins Dictionary.
An example: Steve is going on holiday next week. He is really looking forward to it.
In this example, ‘he’ is a pronoun. We know we’re talking about Steve, so we can use a pronoun in place of his name in the second sentence. There are different types of pronouns used for different purposes.
Personal Pronouns
These are used for people and animals. They can be used as either the subject or the object of a clause. They include: I, you, he, she, it, me, him, her, they, them, we and us. It is almost impossible to talk about people without using pronouns. Everyone has pronouns. They are not a new invention, they have been part of the English language and many other languages for a long, long time. There are some languages where pronouns are not used, or are optional, but the context will indicate the subject being discussed.
Some personal pronouns are gendered, and some are plural (sometimes!) but we’ll get into that in more detail later. English has a structure that generally requires a subject for clarity so pronouns are quite important. You may find other languages use pronouns differently. Japanese sentence structure means it is often possible in spoken Japanese to drop the pronouns, if it is clear who you are referring to. So while Japanese has words for I, you, he, she, they, etc, it is not incorrect to drop them entirely, allowing for a single verb to become a complete sentence in some cases. Indeed, it can be considered quite rude to use a word for ‘you’ in Japanese. In English, this doesn’t really work as well.
Other kinds of pronouns
There are other types of pronouns in English. Reflexive pronouns are used when the subject is performing the verb on itself (see what I did there!). Itself, myself, yourself are all good examples and are essential in some sentences.
Possessive pronouns indicate ownership of something: mine, his, yours, theirs, hers, its (do not use an apostrophe here! See this post here.). ‘That is mine, you can’t have it.’ Look at all the pronouns! Obviously this sentence only makes sense with context around it.
Demonstrative pronouns indicate nouns by their location or position relative to where you are. This, that, these, those. This is nearby, that is far away. Make sense?
Relative pronouns link a modifier to a noun. ‘She’s the one who did it.’ Who, whom, that, and which are all relative pronouns.
Interrogative pronouns are your question words. Who, whom, whose, which, and what are all interrogative pronouns. They are used to replace the noun when you are asking a question. ‘What is that?’
Indefinite pronouns are pronouns that are used when you don’t need to be specific about who you are talking about so a personal pronoun isn’t needed. This includes words like everyone, anyone, someone, neither, much.
Gendered Pronouns
Getting into part of what has been an ongoing discussion regarding personal pronouns. In English, we have both gendered and non-gendered personal pronouns. She/Her and He/Him are gendered, for female and male respectively. What about the non-gendered ones? They/Them, I/m, You, We/Us. There are others out there, this list is not exhaustive as there are newer pronouns which some people who do not identify with a binary gender, feel is more suitable.
It is important to be aware that you cannot always know what someone’s gender is by their appearance or their name. Some names are gender neutral. You can’t assume. So how do you navigate this? Simple. If in doubt, ask. If you make a mistake, apologise and correct yourself then move on. Don’t make a fuss about it. Be polite and respectful. If someone else uses the wrong pronouns for someone, politely correct them and move on.
There is no need to argue about pronouns or tell someone who they are based on what you think you know. It’s basic human decency to respect other people by calling them what they want to be called. It’s no different from someone preferring to go by a nickname or middle name, or getting married and taking their spouses surname.
‘But ‘they/them’ is plural!
Yeah, no, it’s not always. I have seen this argument a lot when it comes to non-binary people using ‘they/them’ pronouns. “It’s not grammatically correct.” That’s incorrect. Don’t get me wrong, ‘they/them’ are used in a plural form, referring to groups of people. This occurs in other languages too, some languages even have gendered group pronouns. In English, however, ‘they’ and ‘them’ can be correctly used for a single person of unspecified, unknown or non-binary gender.
Don’t believe me? Collins Dictionary to the rescue: here. Or the Guardian’s Style Guide entry on pronouns: here. The Blue Book of Grammar, particularly Rule 11a and11b: here. Finally, this article from the Oxford English Dictionary, which is the most definitive record of the English language, which traces use of the singular ‘they’ back to the year 1375 which you can read here.
Conclusion and Inclusion
So, in summary, you cannot drag out the ‘basic biology’ argument when it comes to gender identities and ignore the ‘basic grammar’ of pronouns. Singular ‘they’ is correct. Plural ‘they’ is also correct. If you disagree, you’re transphobic, simple as that. Also, while this isn’t really the place to discuss it in detail, as a life sciences graduate with years of experience treating a large variety of animals, I hate to break it to you but there is no such thing as ‘basic biology’. It is never that simple. Ever. Biology does not have hard and fast rules about anything. Try some basic human decency and respect instead. It looks better on everyone.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to comment, if you can be respectful. Discussion is welcome, as long as you remember that opinions are for pizza toppings and ice-cream flavours, not people’s existences. I reserve the right to moderate the comments and remove inappropriate or hateful ones. See you next time!
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